More than likely, your lovely fiance has already chosen her 'maids, and now you're stuck with the task of finding just the right number of family or friends to pair them with. Here's some tips on how to choose who makes the cut.
Who Makes It
Remember, no matter what your family or friends say, there are not people that "must" be in the wedding party. You should choose the buddies you are close with, not obligated to. If you're unfamiliar with wedding etiquette, however, here's the "usual" rules for including groomsmen in your wedding party.
Your and your bride's brothers come first. Unless there are strange circumstances (like you don't speak to your brother, for instance) your brothers and her brothers are automatically in the wedding party. Next, your closest friends - whether they're family or not - who also happen to be responsible, and - as unpleasant as it sounds - financially sound. Being in a wedding, especially if there's travel involved, is expensive.
The Best Man
We would like to say don't listen to anybody else when deciding who will be your Best Man, but we know that's not entirely realistic. We WILL say, however, that you will want to choose the male that is closest to you, who has been there for you, and if that's a blood relative or a close friend, you will be glad at the time of the wedding that you chose your best friend.
Expectations
Be sure, when you begin asking your friends to stand up in your wedding, that you explain to them what is expected. What is expected, you ask? Well, here are the basics. Some you tell them and some, like the wedding gift, are understood.
* Travel and accomodations * Attend the rehearsal and dinner * Renting tuxedo and shoes * Attend tuxedo fittings * Help plan and attend the bachelor party * Seat guests at the wedding * Walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid (maybe) * Dance with same bridesmaid * Wedding Gift
Got it? If this is manageable for your buds, you're in business.
Who Doesn't Make It
Now, keep in mind, a lot of money and effort (whether it's yours is inconsequential) is being spent on this, the biggest day of your life. And, you don't want to start out a lifetime commitment with this on your shoulders (trust me, I'm a wife): that friend who gets too drunk, who is late for everything, who has a reputation of not showing up for important events is not the best choice for a groomsmen. Basically, if there's a question whether your skiing buddy "GangiaDaddy" will fulfill his duties, you probably shouldn't ask. We suggest, based on horror stories we have heard (and witnessed), that you're going to want your most responsible friends with you on this very special day.
(This doesn't mean you load your wedding party with a bunch of stiffs. You know what we mean. Keep it reasonable.)
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