How do I handle being given away? I am having both of my brothers walk me down the aisle together. How should we walk; how should they hand me off to the groom?
Dear Parsley, How do I handle being given away? I am having both of my brothers walk me down the aisle together. How should we walk (i.e. side-by-side...); how should they hand me off to the groom, and how should "Who gives this woman..." be answered?
Also, my mother, biological father, and stepfather are all remarried. I was raised mostly with my mother and my stepfather. How should everyone be seated? I really don't know their new partners very well so that I'm not very close to them. Therefore, I don't want the new partners in the front rows at the ceremony. How far back is it appropriate to ask them to sit, and how should I communicate my decision?
Shawn in Seattle
Dear Shawn,
Today many brides are being escorted down the aisle by others than father-of-the-bride. This you probably realize. I see little problem with two brothers escorting you. It's a lovely idea. Typically, with one escort, the bride walks to his left. Your escorts, I suspect, will flank you on both sides. Here is one consideration: Do both escorts take your arms? This makes little sense really, since you'll need one arm free to handle the bouquet. Many brides choose simply to walk clutching their bouquet, escorts on either side, no arms given. When it comes time to give you away and the officiant asks the question, both brothers could answer together or one after the other. I wouldn't worry about this aspect, however, as much of this sort of thing will be guided by the officiant at the rehearsal.
Finally, family seating for blended families: If you aren't too worried about hurt feelings, then tell your biological mother and your stepfather that you would like the two of them to represent you in the parent's pew. Give them the location. Then tell the others that the next, say, two pews behind this "parent's pew" have been reserved for family members, which is to say them and others. Hope this helps.
Sincerely, Parsley Adams Wedding Sage
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