Did you know that one of the most uncomfortable issues for newlyweds is how to address their in-laws? Did you know that giving and receiving wedding gifts involves a third step? Did you know that becoming a parent-in-law may throw one off balance?
Leah Shifrin Averick provides these and other insights in her book, "Don't Call Me Mom: How to Improve Your In-Law Relationships."
When Averick, a licensed clinical social worker became a mother-in-law twice in one year, she sought out in-law experts to understand what was happening to her, found none, and became one herself. Determined to understand and explain in-law relationships from two perspectives -- the adult child-in-laws and the parent-in-laws -- she interviewed 250 men and women of different ethnic, socio-economic, and religious backgrounds. Her book, now in its second edition, published by Lifetime Books in Hollywood, Florida, is a compilation of vignettes and observations. An astounding finding was that despite cultural differences people have a commonality of in-law tensions which transcends culture.
Interviewees repeated similar themes which became the book chapter headings. For example, the provocative title, "Don't Call Me Mom" refers to one of the first uncomfortable issues for newlyweds, how to address their in-laws. The words "Mom" or "Dad" are the most precious words in any language, and newlyweds may find it difficult to address another person with those names.
"Gift Giving and Financial Aid," a topic in-laws discuss, is specially relevant this month when sisters and brothers-in-law purchase wedding gifts. A wide gamut of emotions are evoked -- ranging from gracious generosity to hostile resentment -- when buying and giving gifts.
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